From Out Of Nowhere

Lebron James' Powder Ritual

Lebron James Pre-Game Ritual

Starting this blog at a more awkward moment in the major sports calendar would have been very difficult. Still, smack dab in the middle of two championship series and fast-approaching the MLB all-star break, I find myself typing this, the first ever post of “The Peyton Mann-Thing Blog”. Tonight, the Miami Heat will continue their quest for media attention in Dallas against an equally annoying Mavericks team that seems to want this title as much as I want to see another season of American Idol (Hint: Meh…). Thus far, it has truly been a battle of who wants it less.

To be honest, this series has been a chore to watch. I’m tired of listening to ESPN Radio hosts drone on about the solid defense being played by both teams. Am I missing something here? This NBA Finals Series has been a marathon of ugly turnovers, anemic offense, and terrible penalties on both ends of the court. It’s been like watching a football game where both quarterbacks are shoe-ins to throw 5 interceptions by halftime.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s riveting television, but I can’t help but wonder if it is for the wrong reason. Lebron James is that reason. Since the beginning of the season, people have been waiting for this exact series; one through which they can finally measure the worth of Lebron James. Recently, he hasn’t been worth much. I haven’t been blown away by his defense in this series and his offensive impact is completely irrelevant at this point. If he’s not scoring in transition, chances are #6 probably isn’t scoring.

Since we’re all watching these finals with him and his “legacy” in mind, why not bring up something that has entirely nothing to do with basketball and use it to make wild assumptions about Lebron James’ play as of late?

I was listening to ESPN this morning while making a nice plate of scrambled eggs for myself (yum) when something caught my attention. It was the voice of Stephen A. Smith, a journalist that has been very close to Mr. James for quite some time.

(“Stephen A. Smith alluded to something terrible that he heard is going on in LeBron James‘ personal life that may be affecting his play in the NBA Finals“) -ESPN.com

Stephen also went on to compare Lebron’s supposed turmoil with that of Dwayne Wade during his trying divorce, saying that these stars are more affected by their off-the-court problems than we, the public, may understand.

My first thought: Wow that’s stupid.

My second thought: Eggs are getting dark on the bottom

My third thought: Wait…didn’t I read something completely uninteresting about Lebron James’s personal life the other day?

http://i.imgur.com/xI9KH.png

BANG.

So here comes a wild assumption, based on absolutely nothing substantial, about the lack of super emanating from this “star” recently.

RASHARD LEWIS SLEPT WITH LBJMVP’s GIRL WHILE HE WAS AWAY!!!

If I happen to be proved correct six weeks from now, you can be sure I’ll reference this article repeatedly to gloat to the WordPress world. If not, I will probably never mention it ever again and neither will you.(I can’t lose bro.)

Anyway, I expect Lebron to make a statement tonight and bring the series home to Miami where the Heat will dispatch Dirk and Friends  in what I can only describe as a mercy killing. For my sake and yours, I hope something interesting happens between now and then to reward us for time served in lackluster NBA hell.

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